Every one of us has parts of our lives that we feel stuck in. It might be our career, finances, health concerns, or weight loss. There's one factor that I consistently find myself and my clients struggling with and repeating this same mistake makes it almost impossible to move ahead. That mistake is hiding from and pushing away the emotions and feelings that make us uncomfortable.
Of course, this makes sense. No one likes to feel sad, embarrassed, afraid, anxious, or angry. Instead we often hide ourselves from them masking these unpleasant feelings with distractions of our favorite choosing. We may eat to fill a void, tune out to the television, or scroll endlessly through facebook. But by doing so, we miss a precious opportunity to become UNstuck.
In those unwanted and hard to accept emotions is medicine. It is the solution to our problems. When we can identify with them and understand the lesson they provide we are given a powerful tool for moving forward. They become a platform for growth instead of a ceiling keeping us pinned down. Letting yourself experience and understand these feelings is an important part of true growth and the ONLY way we can actually make sustained progress.
Consider this example that I see in my practice almost every day. A person has a headache 4-5 times a week so bad they have to leave work early and can barely take care of duties at home. Their kids feel abandoned, their spouse alone, and their career suffers. They mask their pain each day with a steady dose of pain killers but the headaches keep progressively getting worse. But they don't feel they have the time or energy to really take care of the pain that holds them back.
Then they enter into my office and in less than a week they feel tremendously better. Suddenly, they wonder more why it took them so long to get out of their agony instead of doing something real for it and facing the problem head on.
I'm willing to bet you do this in some way. I know I do....and I'm constantly working to become more aware of it and handle it appropriately.
Become aware of when you hide or mask your negative talk. What do you hide behind as your fallback feel-good mechanism? Until you become aware of this you cannot create a change in the neural circuits of your brain. Yes, positive thinking works. But my experience is that true change only happens when we're brave enough to handle the "stuff" that makes us feel weak.
Get unstuck today by noticing one time when you cover your unhappy thoughts and feelings. Identify the choices that you make to avoid them. Then honor those feelings even by saying something like, "I know this is a lesson in some way even though I don't understand it." It's okay to not know the solution. Answers will come with acknowledgement leading the way. Now you can begin creating something new to grow from and build a brain to experience true joy and freedom